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Low Minority Voter turnout causes CUSC Special Re-election

  • Nate MacDonald
  • Apr 2, 2015
  • 1 min read

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Clark Undergraduate Student Council announced this week that there would be yet another election. Sources say that the special election will be for the minority representative seat and the candidates are sure to please:

Girl with Just one major: “I mean like Geography is basically the combination of other majors”

Man without iPhone: “I’m really not into the whole hierarchical culture that iPhone’s generate”

A student athlete: “I play a varsity sport. ‘nough said”

A Republican of Clark: “The mighty 7 needs a voice too”

A Homoromantic heterosexual man that only dates women and is a mix of African American, Native American, Scottish and Irish: “Come at me bro, I’m the product of the melting pot we call ‘Merica.

Overly Qualified Candidate: “I guess it’s true what they’ve been saying about the economy. I can’t find a job anywhere.”

Stay tuned as we find out who will win this battle for the minority seat. Poli Sci students claim that the election leans towards man without iPhone. They also brought awareness to the underground write-in campaign that the Herban Gardeners are heading of electing a potato to fill the seat. Keep your eyes peeled for news to come.

 
 
 

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Hipster Quote of the Week:

" The message at the end of “The Tortoise and the Hare” isn’t that ‘slow and steady wins the race’, but actually a well-remembered quote from the 1977 Disney classic “A New Hope”: “Great kid! Don’t get cocky”. Bullshit that the hare was gonna lose that race if he didn’t choose to stop for a nap and a snack and whatever else he did. Bullshit that the tortoise was going to catch up in any capacity if the hare didn’t slow down for him. Maybe that platitude makes sense, but definitely not in this situation.

 

A race is a sheer contest of speed. No other skills go into that. The tortoise and the hare aren’t making miniature wooden horses and getting judged on the craftsmanship of their products alongside their finish time; they are moving from one point to another. In no universe does slow and steady win that race. Slow and steady wins no races, except for races where the point is to go as slow as possible. Even in cases where slow and steady could be considered a possible alternative to fast, such as the aforementioned miniature-wooden-horse-making competition, someone who can do similar quality work at a much faster pace still wins that competition.

 

Slow and steady does not win the race. Not being too full of yourself does.."

 

~Nick Gilfor

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