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Worcester Bids for the 2024 Summer Olympics

  • Worcester Bids for the 2024 Summer Olympics
  • Sep 30, 2015
  • 2 min read

On 25 September 2015, the city of Worcester submitted a late bid for the 2024 Olympics. If elected to host, Worcester will undergo countless urban reconstruction and beautification projects. The Freudian Slip conducted a multitude of interviews with local residents, finding that public opinion on hosting the 2024 Games is incredibly divided.

Area man Tyler Rothwell is extremely supportive. Rothwell commented to The Freudian Slip, “We all know that Worcester is a bit of a fixer-upper. Besides, a lil’ bit o’ gentrification never hurt anybody… look at Main South!”

Other residents, such as area woman Mary Bailin, are uncertain about hosting the Games. Bailin told The Freudian Slip, “I’m just worried that hosting the Olympics will detract from other great events and concerts coming to Worcester. I mean, the DCU center has a great line-up for this year: Demi Lovato, Disney on Ice, Life in Color, AND Demi Lovato on ice drenched in colored paint and dancing to dubstep. The Olympics can’t possibly be much better than that.”

If Worcester is elected to host, Clark University will likely serve as a main venue for the Games. President David Angel of Clark University recently released a statement about potentially using the Kneller Athletic Center as an Olympic stadium, “The Kneller already serves as an excellent venue for International Gala and its 2,000-plus attendees. I don’t see any reason why it would be unable to accommodate the Olympic opening ceremonies as well.” Angel further commented, “International Gala is the foremost representation of culture, passion, and diversity in the whole entire world! Er, the Olympics, I meant the Olympics… But seriously, Gala [expletive] rocks, and you can see that Clark is pretty [expletive] diverse, okay?! Okay.” Clark University has reportedly already begun stockpiling student activities fees in order to pay for the Kneller venue conversion, just in case. Also Gala. The Freudian Slip assures its readers that there will still be lots of money for Gala.

Still, despite the controversy, supporters and non-supporters of hosting the 2024 Olympic Games are able to agree on at least one thing. No matter what, whether Worcester hosts the Games or not, all local residents feel confident that Acoustic Java will be able to handle the increase in business. After all, they’re never busy.

 
 
 

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Hipster Quote of the Week:

" The message at the end of “The Tortoise and the Hare” isn’t that ‘slow and steady wins the race’, but actually a well-remembered quote from the 1977 Disney classic “A New Hope”: “Great kid! Don’t get cocky”. Bullshit that the hare was gonna lose that race if he didn’t choose to stop for a nap and a snack and whatever else he did. Bullshit that the tortoise was going to catch up in any capacity if the hare didn’t slow down for him. Maybe that platitude makes sense, but definitely not in this situation.

 

A race is a sheer contest of speed. No other skills go into that. The tortoise and the hare aren’t making miniature wooden horses and getting judged on the craftsmanship of their products alongside their finish time; they are moving from one point to another. In no universe does slow and steady win that race. Slow and steady wins no races, except for races where the point is to go as slow as possible. Even in cases where slow and steady could be considered a possible alternative to fast, such as the aforementioned miniature-wooden-horse-making competition, someone who can do similar quality work at a much faster pace still wins that competition.

 

Slow and steady does not win the race. Not being too full of yourself does.."

 

~Nick Gilfor

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