Unassuming Student Suffers Heart Attack After Trying to Move AC Side Table

Late Tuesday afternoon, Tyler Berry, a sophomore at Worcester Polytechnic Institute, suffered a heart attack in the Academic Commons of the Goddard Library. The Freudian Slip was able to get an interview with him as he recovered at St. Vincent Hospital.

Berry told The Freudian Slip, “I’m taking an art class at Clark because they didn’t have the one I wanted at WPI. and I found myself working on a group project in the library, or the AC, I’m still not sure. Anyway, we were sitting at some of those groovy couches and I went to move one of the small side tables closer to me. I pushed as hard as I could, but I literally could not move it. I mean, I can maybe understand not being able to move the slightly bigger coffee tables, but the small one? Really? The small one?!? It’s just… just… just… so small. Why is it so heavy?”

Berry continued to mumble about the weight of the table for quite some time. Nurse Tom Smith, who was taking the students vitals at the time, was able to fill in the rest of the details. He reported, “The patient exerted so much energy in trying to drag the small, yet surprisingly heavy table, that his heart could not take it. Luckily he is young and will recover well. I did pre-med at Clark, and this is not the first time I’ve seen a case like this.”

Berry’s classmates are starting a campaign to do something about the AC tables. “One idea we have is to cut each table in half. That way we will have twice as many tables and they will weigh half as much!” said Tricia Baker, a Junior in Berry’s art class, “But they’ll still be pretty heavy.” She then added with a frown.

Baker told The Freudian Slip that another idea is to mark each table with a sign that lets all students know how really heavy the furniture is. Baker says they are calling this idea the “Label Each Effing Platform” movement, but they are not sure if it is catchy enough.

Berry says that he will be returning to class soon, and is just ready to put the whole experience behind him.

#Local