Clinton Election Team panders to every last minority group in the country

It has been only eight days since the Clinton juggernaut revved up its presidential campaign engine, but Hillary For America is already finding new, meaningless ways to connect with the electorate.

“Because voter turnout in the United States is the lowest it has been in decades, we have to appeal to every voter possible, even the ones we don’t care about,” said campaign manager Todd Finkelstein.

The Clinton campaign team has therefore begun to brainstorm new campaign ads that feature every conceivable demographic in the country.

“Our announcement video broke some serious ground regarding diversity,” said Finkelstein. “The video contained soon-to-be college grads, soon-to-be pensioners, heterosexual newlyweds, homosexual soon-to-be weds, the list goes on.”

Finkelstein provided The Freudian Slip with some examples of what minority groups they intend to cover in their next video.

“There are so many people to whom we can reach out. For example, we can feature a soon-to-be college grad who also happens to be receiving a pension. Or, we can feature an interracial gay couple that happens to be opening a small business with their Latino cousins. There has got to be somebody like that out there.”

Finkelstein and the rest of the campaign team is excited for what lies ahead. They anticipate that by October of 2016, they will have directly referenced every US citizen.

“I don’t know, maybe we can win the vote of an old white man who is feeling rebellious. All in all, if we can make the American people believe that they can relate to Clinton Dynasty, we’ve done our job.”

#Politics