Potential Theater Major Realizes Everyone was the Lead in High School Productions

Jamie Hanson (‘19) was very excited to start her theatrical career at Clark University until a recent discovery left her disillusioned. Hanson discovered that literally every student interested in theater on the Clark campus, just like her, was the lead in their high school theater productions.

Hanson told The Freudian Slip, “When I got to Clark the first thing I did was hang up all of my high school theater posters. I was Juliet in Romeo and Juliet, Elle Woods in Legally Blonde, Sandy in Grease..." Hanson continued to list numerous productions that The Freudian Slip decided to exclude out of respect for our readers. No one cares.

Hanson continued, “I became friends with this girl Melanie who also likes theater and when I visited her in her room, I saw she had a lot of posters as well. That’s when I got suspicious.”

Hanson proceeded to investigate the matter by asking around. The shocking truth was soon revealed. “I don’t know what to do now”, Hanson said, sobbing, “It’s like my mom and dad were lying to me all this time and I’m not really the most amazing and talented girl to have ever walked the earth. God I hate them!”

As Hanson grieves her glamorous past, she plans on convincing everyone in her life, herself included, that she ‘no longer cares for the arts’ because she ‘grew out of theater after realizing how self absorbed everyone is.’

Hanson now wishes to focus on her new dream, doing PR for a large clothing company.

#WeekOne