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Tom Brady Disappointed in Offense’s Performance During Bye Week

  • Robbie Franklin
  • Oct 5, 2015
  • 1 min read

After a truly embarrassing performance this bye week, during which the Patriots’ offense produced zero points, Tom Brady spoke to the media his Sunday to calm the concerns of New England fans.

“We just need to play better.” Brady told The Freudian Slip, “We got off to a hot start the first three weeks, but that momentum just didn’t carry through the bye week. We must have gotten overconfident I guess. Next week we will look to get back on track.”

Brady, who didn’t manage to complete a single pass this bye week, took his fair share of the blame during his interview with The Freudian Slip, assuring Patriots fans that next Sunday he would not repeat the same mental mistakes he made during the bye week. He also made it clear that he would not sleep in until noon, nor would he enjoy a quiet day with his wife again in the future.

The Freudian Slip imagines that Brady will probably make sure to put on pants for the next game as well.

 
 
 

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Hipster Quote of the Week:

The message at the end of “The Tortoise and the Hare” isn’t that ‘slow and steady wins the race’, but actually a well-remembered quote from the 1977 Disney classic “A New Hope”: “Great kid! Don’t get cocky”. Bullshit that the hare was gonna lose that race if he didn’t choose to stop for a nap and a snack and whatever else he did. Bullshit that the tortoise was going to catch up in any capacity if the hare didn’t slow down for him. Maybe that platitude makes sense, but definitely not in this situation.

 

A race is a sheer contest of speed. No other skills go into that. The tortoise and the hare aren’t making miniature wooden horses and getting judged on the craftsmanship of their products alongside their finish time; they are moving from one point to another. In no universe does slow and steady win that race. Slow and steady wins no races, except for races where the point is to go as slow as possible. Even in cases where slow and steady could be considered a possible alternative to fast, such as the aforementioned miniature-wooden-horse-making competition, someone who can do similar quality work at a much faster pace still wins that competition.

 

Slow and steady does not win the race. Not being too full of yourself does.."

 

~Nick Gilfor

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