Cool Professor Allows Students to Call Him by First Name, Also Says Fuck

Heather Rosenberg (’19) set high expectations for her first semester at Clark. Rosenberg told The Freudian Slip, “I want my professors to inform me, inspire me, and (impregnate) inspire me again!”

After two long months of studying and pent-up sexual frustration, The Freudian Slip is able to confirm that Rosenberg has found what she was looking for in Professor Jonah Brockton. Rosenberg gushed to The Freudian Slip, “Jonah is so cool! He let’s us call him by his first name- Jonah! Jonah also says fuck! That’s so cool!”

Rosenberg couldn’t stop (touching) telling The Freudian Slip about Jonah, “He wears acid-wash jeans and listens to Fleetwood Mac. That’s so cool! Did I mention he says fuck, too? How cool is that?”

When asked to comment, Jonah told The Freudian Slip, “Ms. Rosenberg tends to be really (suggestive) disruptive in class. She’s constantly asking (highly personal) extraneous questions and getting up to go to (my office, where she carefully sifts through my things in search of pictures of my wife and kids) the bathroom. Honestly, it’s pretty fucking annoying.”

The Freudian Slip is not sure what to think of Rosenberg, but it decided it doesn’t care enough to inquire further.

Regardless, The Freudian Slip thinks you’re (very very handsome) cool, too, Jonah.

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