President Obama Mixes Up Drone Orders, Pakistan is the new Albuquerque, NM

Islamabad, Pakistan: A simple mistake by President Barack Obama was recently declassified this week, shedding new light on the controversial drone strike program carried out by the U.S. government. According to sources in both Washington and Pakistan, Obama mixed up drone orders- accidentally sending Season 6 of Grey’s Anatomy to a house in northwestern Pakistan.

This mistake was rendered tragic due to a parallel incident While a man in Pakistan joined Team McDreamy, another man’s house in Albuquerque, New Mexico was destroyed when a missile blasted through his roof, seriously injuring himself, four others, and his television set.

“I don’t know what to think of all of this. It’s such a tragic coincidence. I got a set of Blue Rays but I only have DVD player, and this guy got a bomb and I’m the one that’s a terrorist,” Taliban fighter Abdullah Kowalski told The Freudian Slip in a Skype interview.

Upon further investigation, it was discovered that the drones themselves, not the packages in them, were what got mixed up. The drone sent to Pakistan was an Amazon drone- by no means able to carry a 99 pound AGM-114A Basic Hellfire missile, according to military weapons experts. On the other hand, the drone sent to Albuquerque, a General Atomics MQ-1 Predator, was far too powerful to carry the roughly quarter-pound box set of Grey’s Anatomy.

This blatant mix up in the use of powerful and expensive weaponry has sparked a bipartisan effort to hold President Obama accountable for the blunder. Not only was a missile erroneously wasted on a house that did not belong to a terrorist, but a package from Amazon was sent to someone who didn’t order it. This was a blatant breach of their Terms and Conditions agreement.

The Pentagon has issued a statement promising that drone strikes will resume as per usual on Monday, but until then it must figure out how this mistake came to be. In the meantime, the Pentagon has advised terrorists in northwestern Pakistan that they may receive Amazon packages that they didn’t order, and that American civilians may be receiving missiles that they didn’t order.

#Global