SPREE DAY ’75: STILL SPREEING

Early Monday evening on October 11th, 2015, University Police received a serious noise complaint from two first-year students who had confused the third floor for the fifth floor in Goddard Library. Staff advised the two students that noise was, in fact, widely considered acceptable on the third floor. However, after continued complaints, University Police was prompted to discover three Clarkies from the Class of ’75 loitering in the stairwells.

Upon questioning, one of the alumni, Barbara Simon (‘78) informed us that ‘Spree Day of 1975’ is still in full swing, “We’re on campus every hour. We can’t stop spreeing.”

Copious amounts of Rolling Rock cans, face paint, and vintage records were discovered stored in a small storage space locked behind a short black door, located in the stairwell between the second and third floor of the library. Simon commented, “Just live spree or die, you know? I got that quote as a stick and poke tattoo back in ‘75 and I’ve lived by it ever since.”

Further knowledge about Spree Day ‘75’s mysterious time frame is still lacking. University Police requests that any students with information regarding any Clark affiliates- assumed to be faculty in their sixties spotted gallivanting around campus in sleeveless tops or high-waisted shorts despite the cold- to contact them immediately at (508) 793-7575.

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