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Clark Announces New Tabling Club

  • Alden Welles
  • Dec 8, 2015
  • 1 min read

Clark University elicited great praise from its students when they announced

the latest club to join the ever-growing list of clubs at Clark: the Tabling Club. This

club will allow students to partake in an activity that is clearly a passion for

numerous Clarkies based on its ubiquity on campus.

The Tabling Club will sponsor numerous events. First, they will have

discussions once every two weeks about tabling skills. These discussions will be

about countless topics including: the right tone of voice to yell in, whether tablers

are obnoxious or just misunderstood, and which club has the most fervent tablers.

Second, they will host info sessions at which aspiring tablers can learn everything

from the best tabling strategies to possible careers in tabling. Finally, they will

occasionally bring in prominent tabling veterans as guest speakers whose events

will definitely sell out quickly.

The Tabling Club looks to become one of the most popular clubs on campus.

Clarkies should definitely expect to frequently hear “Would you like to table?” in the

UC. This club’s appeal is not going away anytime soon.

 
 
 

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Hipster Quote of the Week:

The message at the end of “The Tortoise and the Hare” isn’t that ‘slow and steady wins the race’, but actually a well-remembered quote from the 1977 Disney classic “A New Hope”: “Great kid! Don’t get cocky”. Bullshit that the hare was gonna lose that race if he didn’t choose to stop for a nap and a snack and whatever else he did. Bullshit that the tortoise was going to catch up in any capacity if the hare didn’t slow down for him. Maybe that platitude makes sense, but definitely not in this situation.

 

A race is a sheer contest of speed. No other skills go into that. The tortoise and the hare aren’t making miniature wooden horses and getting judged on the craftsmanship of their products alongside their finish time; they are moving from one point to another. In no universe does slow and steady win that race. Slow and steady wins no races, except for races where the point is to go as slow as possible. Even in cases where slow and steady could be considered a possible alternative to fast, such as the aforementioned miniature-wooden-horse-making competition, someone who can do similar quality work at a much faster pace still wins that competition.

 

Slow and steady does not win the race. Not being too full of yourself does.."

 

~Nick Gilfor

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