Library to Enforce 5th Floor Silence with Drones

In a surprisingly bold move, Clark University has placed drones in the fifth floor of the Robert H. Goddard Library to aid in noise management. The pre-drone silence was not deep enough for the librarians, who have been exceedingly outspoken about the occasional sneezing and whispering that occurs. The implementation of drones in the library gives the entire campus hope that the sound-makers will soon be eliminated.

The Freudian Slip interviewed a student quietly working in the fifth floor, Sophia Reading ‘18, “Walking into the fifth floor of the library is like walking into space. This could be due to the elevation, but it’s probably the empty silence and futuristic drones everywhere.” Although Reading spoke in a whisper so soft it was barely audible, a drone quickly flew towards the source of the disturbance. Reading was unable to make any further comments.

EMS has partnered with the drones, waiting to dispose of the interruptive students after they have been silenced.

The librarians are conflicted: the drones have taken away their main job of loudly shh-ing students, but “the technology is very impressive. They terminate sounds more efficiently than we ever could,” said one librarian who was interviewed in the stairwell to avoid further casualties. “The drones will systematically and unfeelingly take out any sound-makers. I’d like to see them sort books though.”

There have been issues in making the drones themselves silent. However, “a little high-tech laser pew sound in exchange for complete silence is acceptable, and not that different from our shh-ing” says one anonymous librarian.

Another issue currently being addressed is the drones’ constant barrage of the metal doors as they open and close. ITS will soon program the drones to ignore that particular stimulus, and Campus Safety has asked in the meantime that all students “watch their heads when entering the fifth floor, and avoid obliteration by army-crawling inside, or carrying large backpacks like shields.”

UP will be teaching students these drone-defense techniques every Friday from 6 to 9 pm.

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