Vegans forced to stay on Campus for Thanksgiving

Clark’s campus has been transformed into a ghost town this Thanksgiving Break as students return home for the holiday, as only a few lonely souls remain. No, they’re not international students, Santiago Martin (‘19) went home with their roommate from Connecticut. Rather, they’re vegans.

Timothy Satalino (‘17) was wandering campus on Thanksgiving in search of intelligent life when he came across Sarah Makowitz (‘19), who was reportedly clawing at the door of the Academic Commons.

Upon meeting one another, they discovered that they had more in common than one might expect. Both were from central Massachusetts, but weren’t able to come home for the same reason.

“I recently came out as a vegan to my parents in October and they haven’t talked to me since,” Satalino told The Freudian Slip. “When I texted my dad asking him if he could pick me up for Thanksgiving, he told me that I could stay on campus until Christmas.”

When interviewed by The Freudian Slip, Makowitz cited similar reasons. After being contacted for comment, her mother, Martha Makowitz, stated, “We love Sarah all the same, but we just couldn’t have her around my conservative parents. She would have been an embarrassment and compensating for her diet would have been a nightmare.”

As the pair continued to roam aimlessly around campus, they stumbled across even more vegans, consequently forming a group of 20 stranded souls. After continued exploration, they discovered that they were the only undergraduates that remained for the four-day weekend.

The students got together and decided to pool their meager resources to cook the most bland and sustainable Thanksgiving in New England. The feast was celebrated a day late, a tradition they intend to keep because it “raises awareness” for the challenges faced by many unsuspecting vegans, according to activist and student Wendy Miller (‘16).

“We decided to form the Vegan Support Society on campus, to provide help to students who may be abandoned by their family after they revealed who they truly are,” said Makowitz while chewing tofurkey, “We also intend to educate the Clark community about the often-ignored anti-Vegan culture and anti-Vegan discrimination that still remains a cancer in society.”

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