Bernie Sanders Now Includes Free Taco Tuesdays on His Platform

In a recent political move, the Sanders campaign has suggested incorporating Free Taco Tuesdays as a part of his platform. The Freudian Slip decided to hold a meeting of middle-aged Republican voters in the Worcester area to analyze the conservative response to this new development .

The discussion quickly devolved into a series of concerned questions, after one individual spat out that the move is “A pathetic attempt to tailor to the young people.”Another man sarcastically piped in, “I wonder if he’d give the tacos to the 1%.”

A disgruntled man chewing tobacco in the corner demanded to know, “Is the meat that non-GMO, organic, local, vegan, hippie crap?” A Clark Republican added snidely, “What is the name of the animal in this taco? I only eat cows named after famous authors.”

A confused group in the second row began to panic about funding, clearly thinking that Bernie’s campaign is not funded by public donors, but the public’s taxes. “My taxes are going to what?” one man asked, while another exclaimed, “My job pays for this!?”

The only woman in the room added, “My hard earned 77 cents to a dollar supports Bernie Sanders?” A slightly senile man stood up to bellow, “Bernie Sanders is channeling my bank account into his taco funding???”

A racist in the back of the room took the time to voice his opinion. “This is clearly for the Mexicans! Sorry we want a wall, damn it! Eat your tacos in your own friggin’ country.”

When a man stated that “I should stop paying taxes so he can’t make tacos,” the group agreed and calmed down.

The meeting finished off with allegations against Bernie’s meat vendors. “I bet the meat is cheap if he can just hand it out, like social programs.” An especially witty younger man in attendance giggled and said that the low-quality meat would soon create “Feeling-the-Bern Wednesdays,” prompting a round of right-handed high-fives from fellow audience members.

#Global