Clark Dining Services to Begin Serving Food Starting Next Year

In a press release last Friday, Sodexo dining services unveiled plans that include the preparation and serving of food starting in the fall of 2016 in both the Higgins Cafe and the Bistro.

This announcement came in response to a study published on November 6, 1278 BCE in which food was determined to be home to nutrients. According to the study, nutrients help the body function and complete simple tasks required in daily life.

The new change will be revolutionary for the Clark community, and is rumored to involve an entire restructuring process for the cafeteria, including the addition of a fully functional kitchen.

Mason Jarvis (‘18) told the Freudian Slip last night “I’m really excited about this. I’ve heard about food before and it’s supposed to have incredible benefits, I just hope they provide gluten free and vegan options”

A representative from Sodexo responded to the concerns of Jarvis and other Clarkies in a press release stating “We plan to create an entire station with vegan and vegetarian options. Entire heads of cabbage, cold and soggy tofu, and unlimited beans will be available to students. And in our attempt to serve as many dietary restrictions as possible, none of these items will be seasoned in any way so students have the freedom to enjoy many options.”

Despite the excitement around campus, there is no predicting how the students and staff will react to such a drastic change in their daily lives once it is implemented. Projects such as this are virtually untested in the field of college education.

Readers can follow the Freudian Slip for the latest updates on Clark’s attempt to challenge convention.