David Angel Announces Plans to Get Swol

After a Valentine's Day evening that was chilly in more ways than one, Clark University President David Angel announced plans to get back in shape. He has yet to release a statement with the specifics, but Monday morning President Angel told his bathroom mirror and The Freudian Slip, “I know I’ve said this before, but this time it’s for real. Imma get swol.”

Later Monday, the President’s wife, Jocelyne Bauduy, told The Freudian Slip that David Angel had taken his first steps toward his goal by ripping the sleeves off of all his button-up shirts and suit coats, and by purchasing 35 pairs of athletic shorts.

Getting extremely physically fit should be a fairly easy process for President Angel, who is only a few years removed from the best shape of his life. According to alumni of the Class of 2010, David Angel was absolutely shredded during his first year as President. Cole Evans (‘10) spoke especially highly of his former president. “Yo P. Dangel was a bro! We’d toss slugs three stories down ‘til our delts were poundin’!” he told The Freudian Slip, while drinking out of a plastic water bottle labeled ‘Drink.’

David Angel’s personal trainer, Rick “Rickies” Fauck, announced to the University at a press conference Monday that he plans to start the President off with the largest weights possible so that he doesn’t look like a little weakling, and stated that there would be no rest days.

The Freudian Slip imagines that it will only be a matter of time before President Angel’s English accent will be working in tandem with bulging pectoral muscles and a ‘Streets Ahead” tattoo, which undoubtedly will be dank.

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