top of page
Search

Investigative Report: False Authorship of “What’s Happening” Emails

  • Annie Share
  • Mar 29, 2016
  • 1 min read

Following weeks of undercover investigation and browsing through students’ abounding junk email folders, The Freudian Slip discovered that Joanne Darrigo has been engaging in false authorship of the “What’s Happening” emails. The true author of the emails remains unknown.

Whether Darrigo was a victim of identity theft or freely warranted the aforementioned plagiarism is unclear. However, it is evident that this long-awaited disclosure has significant consequences on the Clark student body.

William Dile (‘18) told The Freudian Slip, “I just can’t help but feel lied to. I trusted Joanne, and she broke that trust.”

Another student, Liliana Wurfland (‘19) confided in The Freudian Slip, “ Who knows what to believe anymore… are there even three improv shows, two a capella performances, a SPOC games night and a Conversation Café about Middle Eastern politics going on this weekend?! I just don’t know!”

Still, if there is one thing that Clarkies can be sure of, it is that What’s Happening this week is betrayal.

 
 
 

Comments

Featured Posts
Recent Posts
Archive
Search By Tags
Follow Us
  • Facebook Basic Square
  • Twitter Basic Square
  • Google+ Basic Square

Hipster Quote of the Week:

" The message at the end of “The Tortoise and the Hare” isn’t that ‘slow and steady wins the race’, but actually a well-remembered quote from the 1977 Disney classic “A New Hope”: “Great kid! Don’t get cocky”. Bullshit that the hare was gonna lose that race if he didn’t choose to stop for a nap and a snack and whatever else he did. Bullshit that the tortoise was going to catch up in any capacity if the hare didn’t slow down for him. Maybe that platitude makes sense, but definitely not in this situation.

 

A race is a sheer contest of speed. No other skills go into that. The tortoise and the hare aren’t making miniature wooden horses and getting judged on the craftsmanship of their products alongside their finish time; they are moving from one point to another. In no universe does slow and steady win that race. Slow and steady wins no races, except for races where the point is to go as slow as possible. Even in cases where slow and steady could be considered a possible alternative to fast, such as the aforementioned miniature-wooden-horse-making competition, someone who can do similar quality work at a much faster pace still wins that competition.

 

Slow and steady does not win the race. Not being too full of yourself does.."

 

~Nick Gilfor

bottom of page