Christie Presidential Bid, sets sights on The Oscar’s

Public opinion of failed presidential candidate Jeb Bush has skyrocketed since his surprise cameo at the Emmys as an under-employed Uber Driver. This prompted New Jersey Governor Chris Christie to accept his standing offer as host of the Academy Awards.

When asked for a statement Christie commented, “Jeb and I have a lot in common, we’re both rich and white, that’s all the Academy is really looking for. Plus, it’ll be nice to do the talking for once, after being Trump’s flunkie so long.” The Academy could not be reached for a statement, but it is rumored they will be reaching out to Al Gore to co-host.

Christie has gone on to explain this will be the first in a series of television and movie appearances, including critically acclaimed drama The Walking Dead, a reboot episode of Mr. Roger’s neighborhood, and the latest Marvel Blockbuster. This should position Christie nicely for his career as a celebrity endorser, after his inevitable loss for re-election in 2017.

While Jeb complains to his moderate Twitter following that ‘everyone keeps taking my ideas’ it has become increasingly clear that Christie has an insatiable appetite for fame, as well as Oreos. So keep your eyes open for “Walker Number 3” and when it comes to the Oscars, remember they’re just identity politics.

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