Quidditch Team Fails to Take Off

Following three consecutive losses to WPI last week, it’s clear that the Clark University Quidditch Team is having some problems getting off the ground.

Despite a promising recruiting class, the Ravenclarks were unable to prove themselves as they were grounded in their opening series against the Flying Goats. WPI star chaser Chad Akron (‘17), who had soared to another level of technical ability last season en route to becoming conference MVP, was just as dominant at this match. Akron ended the game with 12 goals, 9 assists and 7 steals. Clark’s lack of speed proved to be a major liability, as Akron consistently flew past the Ravenclarks defensive line.

Clark coach Dave Grimwalde remains positive about the future of his team. In a press conference, he indicated that the Ravenclarks only need minor strategic adjustments to be prepared for the Massachusetts Invitational in Boston next weekend. He blamed “much faster brooms with questionably legal modifications” as the primary cause for the sweep at the hands of the Flying Goats. WPI Athletics and the New England Quidditch Association both declined to comment on any allegations of illegal equipment use.

Grimwalde did not address the fact that his beaters averaged an accuracy of only 37% percent and his chasers were routinely missing key passes throughout the series.

Captain Jamie Kepler told The Freudian Slip that he is concerned about the disappointing start to the Ravenclarks’ season. He mentioned that the team as a whole “is still working on the fundamentals of the game, and that building team chemistry will help elevate our play later this season.”

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