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Flooding Inspires Formation of Water Skiing team

  • John Hoeglund
  • Oct 27, 2016
  • 1 min read

A night of flash flooding in Worcester, Massachusetts on Friday, October 21st, 2016, marked the founding of Clark University’s first intramural water skiing team. The Freudian Slip spoke with the club’s founder, Jon Doe (‘18), on how the club came to be.

“Like most Friday nights, there were parties going on off campus, but the rain had us all stuck in the AC.” Jon Doe told The Freudian Slip, “In an effort to reach the party, one of us made a run to the garage and came back with a 20-foot rope, pickup truck, and a few water skies. The rest just sort of came together.”

The University Police were a bit perplexed by the sight. Chief Goulet said, “We wanted to stop the kids, but it was just so damn funny watching them go up and down Main, none of us had the heart to stop them.” Assuming that their actions were allowed, Doe and his associates found an alternative to their usual Friday night parties, instead taking turns circling campus on water skis being pulled behind Doe’s rusted out pickup.

The status of the group as a Clark-recognized athletics team has quickly become confusing.. As Doe explained to our reporters, “We didn’t have a coach, a regular practice schedule or location, and water skiing isn’t even a team sport.” Undeterred they press on, however, anxiously awaiting the next severe weather warning.

 
 
 

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Hipster Quote of the Week:

" The message at the end of “The Tortoise and the Hare” isn’t that ‘slow and steady wins the race’, but actually a well-remembered quote from the 1977 Disney classic “A New Hope”: “Great kid! Don’t get cocky”. Bullshit that the hare was gonna lose that race if he didn’t choose to stop for a nap and a snack and whatever else he did. Bullshit that the tortoise was going to catch up in any capacity if the hare didn’t slow down for him. Maybe that platitude makes sense, but definitely not in this situation.

 

A race is a sheer contest of speed. No other skills go into that. The tortoise and the hare aren’t making miniature wooden horses and getting judged on the craftsmanship of their products alongside their finish time; they are moving from one point to another. In no universe does slow and steady win that race. Slow and steady wins no races, except for races where the point is to go as slow as possible. Even in cases where slow and steady could be considered a possible alternative to fast, such as the aforementioned miniature-wooden-horse-making competition, someone who can do similar quality work at a much faster pace still wins that competition.

 

Slow and steady does not win the race. Not being too full of yourself does.."

 

~Nick Gilfor

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