Intramural Soccer Team Loses by Triple Digits

Clark University intramural soccer team ABCDE FC was delivered a crushing defeat at the hands of the SILENCE OF THE LAHMS this Sunday at the Dolan, losing by an unprecedented 132-17 score. ABCDE FC’s midfield and defense quickly broke down, allowing a goal every 22.7 seconds and a literally countless number of shots.

Team Captain Alana Daily (’19) shared her disappointment with The Freudian Slip, saying her team was “both outplayed and outclassed [Sunday]” and that “our minds were clearly in another place.” The Freudian Slip speculates that they were all thinking about ostriches, since that was where our mind went when we stopped paying attention to the game.

Towards the end of the first half, shortly after the net itself ripped in half due to overuse, The Freudian Slip sought out Intramural League Coordinator Jess Michael (’18) for comment on the match. She just simply told us that this was pretty normal for when a team with jerseys plays a team without jerseys.

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