Student body demands David Angel release his long form birth certificate if he intends to remain pre

The Birther movement may have come to an end, but concerned students at Clark University have started an effort to revitalize it.. The student body has finally begun to question their President David Angel, and where his loyalties really lie. “Are we even sure that President Angel is from here?” said radio host Alexis Jones (‘18). “We need to make Clark great again, we’re not winning anymore, we are losing our jobs like babies, WPI is taking our jobs, bigly!” Trumple Donalds (‘17) added. “Hillary Clinton may have started the birther movement, but the Clark community finished it.” Hurry Limbaugh (‘20) added.

Some have speculated David Angel’s true place of origin to be: Kenya, the Lizard planet: Clintonia, a generic egg, or even the United Kingdom. A recently formed campus club, The Student Patriots, has organized a protest in which dozens of gallons of cafeteria iced tea will be poured into Crystal Pond in the park across Main Street. “We are tired by being ruled oppressively by the British, no tuition without representation,” said leader of the Student Patriots, Trumple Donalds. More details about the protest should come this week.

This has brought about the surfacing of an even more pressing issue, the title of ‘President’. Can this term be used in the case of an official who is not democratically elected? Should Clark hold a democratic election to decide our own president? If so would Donald Trump run for it? These are the questions Clarkies everywhere are begging to be addressed.

David Angel has yet to comment on this rising controversy, which has done nothing but raise suspicion among the Student Patriots. Ultimately, this new wave of birtherism threatening our very own David Angel has left but one question in the minds of students everywhere, “Does a college president actually have to be American to be good at his job?”

#Local