Star Signs: Just Another Fad?

Although birthdays are special for almost everyone, we all have to accept the fact that a while ago our parents perhaps smoked a little too much weed or didn’t realize the percent of the alcohol content on whatever they were drinking when they still got smashed in public and lo behold they banged and here we are now. Happy Birthday to you!

The day of your birth is significant for a variety of reasons. The day you were born marks the decline of your parents’ bank account, a contribution to the overpopulation of public schools, and another reason for Baby Gap to open ANOTHER store- don’t get me wrong, though, there is nothing wrong with that last part because who can resist baby Sperry’s? Besides those fundamental facts, one of the most notable events of your birth is the astrological sign you receive.

Like many of us though, there is an “accident” in the astrological system. The National Aeronautics and Space Administration, which is fancy way of saying NASA, finally decided to tell us that there is actually a thirteenth sign. According to NASA, there were always thirteen signs, but the Babylonians removed the new one, Ophiuchus, from the rest of the original twelve signs and dates because, at the time, the world was already operating on a twelve month calendar. You can only imagine my fury upon discovering this, after getting a tattoo two weeks ago of the constellation of my supposed astrological sign, Gemini. Thanks, NASA. I hope I make it to the moon one day to permanently place a fat “NO” so we’re even.

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