Toilet Paper: The Good, Bad and Downright Disappointing

The start of the semester brought about many jovial feelings for us returning Clarkies, though some of us got a little too excited at the thought of being back. Amidst catching up with new friends, acclimating to classes and going to terrible sports parties, it’s hard to take time and think about the things that are really important. No matter how dedicated your friends are, or how guaranteed to suck Friday nights are, there was always one who was there for you through everything, yes, I’m talking about toilet paper.

Shedding a few homesick tears here and there, begging for mercy to the porcelain throne, or sitting there to check social media while taking a study break (and killing two birds with one stone), toilet paper is a necessity for all of these life changing activities that are the essence of college life.

Once Physical Plant realized just how many of us abuse the originally abundant supply of toilet paper, though, action was taken. A couple of weeks ago many of us woke to the ear piercing noise of drills against tile wall. One, how rude. Two, why the hell does there need to be a power tool in the bathroom at 8 AM? Apparently, the answer to that problem is too much toilet paper was being taken. The real culprit, in addition to the reasons mentioned above, were off campus Clarkies who couldn’t bring themselves to go to Big Y to buy some Cottonelle.

Thanks to these assholes, members of Clark residence halls now have industrial sized rolls of toilet paper, held captive by ridiculous dispensers that look like oversized black licorice jelly beans, both of which normal people despise.

If you’re one of the individuals who let this happen- who had the nerve to make toilet paper no longer be free-The Freudian Slip’s official (read: censored) comment is “shame on you”.

#Local