Caf Worker Feels Moral Conflict as he Witnesses Student Steal Fruit

In what was described as an internal war of morals, an anonymous cafeteria worker, who identified themselves only as X, reportedly witnessed an unidentified student taking apples from the caf and hastily stowing them in her bag. X told The Freudian Slip that the heist caused the loss of six locally grown apples.

X recounted the events to The Freudian Slip, “I was just doing my normal work duties that day. I was pushing carts, refilling that cool fruit-infused water dispenser, and engaging in conversation with dining hall patrons. That’s when I saw her doing it. It was awful. I just stood there and watched as she kept stuffing apples into her bag. I didn’t know what to do. Do I report it to that bald guy who seems to be in charge? Do I let her go and just pretend like I didn’t just witness grand theft apple? It was the worst position I’ve ever been in”

Neither Sodexo nor the Caf has officially commented on X’s statements, although unconfirmed inside sources have said that the Sodexo is considering installing security cameras throughout the Caf.

Following X’s confession, several more Sodexo-affiliated workers have come out to share their own stories of witnessing theft. Bread loaves and cereal were just some of the items listed by workers as the most vulnerable foodstuffs to theft. Many of them also admitted to having moral conflicts.

“I know that theft is wrong, but I also know how much the meal plan here costs” said one concerned worker.

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