March Excitement: Round One Predictions and Commentary
- Freudian Slip Staff
- Mar 20, 2017
- 4 min read
Sports editor, Maddy Doyle, sits down with editors and writers from The Freudian Slip to discuss the first round of March Excitement -- Bistro. To vote in round one, go here: https://goo.gl/forms/QHLOadk8ISfxEuC63
Match 1: Pizzarita (1) vs. Bagels (16)
Maddy Doyle, Sports Editor: Personally, I’ve never had a pizzarita, but the bagels are trash.
Paul Dante Frissora, Global News Editor: Yeah, I’d have to agree.
Emily Buza, Staff Writer: Can we open the bracket again? I need to see the whole picture.
[Paul pulls up the bracket on the projector]
Emily Denny, Editor-in-Chief: I will say, a bagel, when paired well with the right stuff, can really shine.
Carly Dills, Arts & Culture Editor: I think people see bagels as a solid option.
Charlotte Fenton, Local Editor: Yeah, when you’re hungry and need a hearty breakfast...
Paul: Are you saying you can’t have a pizzarita for breakfast?
Denny: Well, you can’t.
Match 2: Chicken Tenders (8) vs. F’Real Shake (9)
Maddy: Rumor has it the chicken tenders make my friend Liza extremely ill. So, I’m going with the Shake. Also shakes are both a drunk food and a high food.
Emily: I think Chicken Tenders stand a chance, being food and all. F’Reals seem more like a beverage.
Paul: Additionally, F’Real Shakes are expensive.
Annie Kaplan, Staff Writer: Easy to steal though. I also appreciate the ability to customize thickness.
Paul: I like them real thicc, with two "c"s.
Denny: I find the chicken tenders, on the whole inconsistent. Sometimes they’re bomb, others they are straight trash.
Emily: Wishy-washy in general.
Match 3: Mediterranean Grilled Cheese (4) vs. Chicken Patty (13)
Maddy: Onto Mediterranean Grilled Cheese and the chicken patty.
Annie: The cheese pull on that grilled cheese… is the best.
Paul: I’m gonna get a drink real quick.
[Paul leaves the room.]
Denny: The chicken patty is a real underdog. I think it’s looking good this year. That’d be a real cinderella story.
Maddy: The chicken patty pairs well with a variety of sauces.
[Paul returns]
Paul: I have experimented with such sauces.
Denny: Quite a match here, I must say.
Carly: I’m interested to see how this plays out.
Match 4: Single Pickle (12) vs. Caprese Panini (5)
[Audible murmurs of frustration]
Charlotte: The single pickle has the whole thing that it rhymes.
Carly: Caprese is such a solid bistro thing. You can’t have the bistro without the panini that’s soggy and kind of cold.
Paul: I thought they toasted them.
Maddy: How many pickles have you eaten in your life?
Carly: None.
Paul: Lots.
Emily: The pickle is so special.
Paul: The panini has a great high school recruit: the tomato.
Maddy: The pickle has never competed on this stage before and I think it could be great.
Ben Gessel, Staff Writer: Are pickles acidic?
Denny: I thought vinegar was a base.
Carly: What’s the ph of a pickle?
Paul: (Googling the ph level of a pickle) 2.4, pretty acidic.
Denny: I’ll be damned.
Match 5: Chicken Quesadilla (2) vs. Prepackaged Sandwiches (15)
Carly: Moving on: no contest on prepacked sandwiches vs the chicken quesadilla.
Paul: You’d be a fool to bet on anything else.
Emily: Though the cling wrap makes prepacked sandwiches really easy to carry. Lots of support.
Annie: (Re: prepacked sandwiches) I’m worried we’re going to crush their self esteem, but I think they deserve it.
Paul: They shouldn’t have been soggy if they didn’t want to be crushed.
Maddy: Why does [the quesadilla] taste so good if it’s just chicken?
Paul: There’s probably horse in there too.
Denny: I hear the chicken is alive when it enters the quesadilla.
Match 6: French Fries (7) vs. Individually Packaged Egg (10)
[Audible sigh of frustration]
Denny: I’ve got a good feeling about individually packaged eggs.
Carly: French Fries are important. Like really important.
Ben: You can order french fries with anything.
Carly: Don’t lie to yourself you can eat an egg with anything.
[Room briefly descends into chaos.]
Emily: But what about everyone allergic to eggs? French Fries have a strong history.
Paul: They’re the kentucky of food.
Charlotte: I don’t know, [french fries] weren’t there for us in Ireland, why would they be there for us now?
Maddy: That’s actually why I hate potatoes.
Paul: That’s racist.
Denny: I believe in the egg.
Match 7: Edamame Nut Salad (3) vs. Soup of the Day, which has been breathed on (14)
Paul: Before we start the salad vs soup discussion. The nut salad contains nuts.
Carly: That’s true.
Ben: It does.
Annie: Does contain nuts.
Maddy: It has nuts?
Charlotte: Yes.
Maddy: We don’t know what the soup of the day is, because it changes.
Ben: Their line up changes every day. No predictability.
Annie: It also depends who breathed on it. Like if it was David Angel that would change the game.
Denny: Soup and salad have always been so close. It’ll be interesting to see them up against each other.
Emily: It’ll be a heartbreaker.
Ben: Local rivalry. Finally settled.
Paul: Yankees and Red Sox, really.
Maddy: I think breath soup should die.
Emily: That seems harsh.
Paul: The breath soup program should be as existent as the football program.
Maddy: What if we had a football team?
Match 8: Sushi (6) vs. Hamburger (11)
Denny: So, sushi and hamburgers, can’t think of two more different things.
Paul: This is a close match though.
Maddy: The hamburgers aren’t consistent. Sometimes it’s good, other times it’s just a charred, flat disc.
Carly: They have vegetarian sushi.
Paul: How do you have a vegetarian fish?
Carly: Without fish. So, if you’re going for the pleaser, it’s sushi.
Emily: There’s also all the support going into each one. They have so many factors.
Denny: Yeah, it really depends on the lineup. Which rice? Which lettuce?
Emily: Is the avocado even gonna come to the game?
Annie: These are the only two items that even contain avocado. That’s gonna make it interesting.
Paul: The Californians are gonna play a big part in this.
Maddy: And you can’t overcook sushi, can ya?
Paul: The white nationalism of the hamburger, or the multiculturalism of sushi?
Annie: It’s Trump and Obama, really.
Paul: There’s a picture of Obama sushi I saw once, pretty cool actually.
Emily: So, the bistro may have a grim future.
Follow this link to vote in Round One! Voting closes March 28th!
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