Lab Report finds Dining Hall Portions inside Petri Dish

In a shocking lab report from the Lasry Center for Bioscience, BIO 101 students accidentally encountered something unexpected under their microscopes.

“We were try to study these petri dishes when we noticed something peculiar in one of them,” said John Jimmy Jonathan (‘19), “We focused in on the sample and found a portion of Cajun Shrimp and Rice from the Dining Hall.”

“Who would have known that the Dining Hall’s portions could’ve been so small that they could only be seen under a microscope!” said Jonathan’s lab partner, Dave Doofenshmirtz (‘19).

Sodexo, Clark University’s food services provider, has declined to comment on the discovery, with a spokesman saying only that they were “investigating all possibilities” that were related to the incident.

The implications of this discovery are still being researched, although Biologists at John Hopkins University in Baltimore, Maryland have stated that the discovery of “Microscopic, yet balanced and delicious meals” could be revolutionary in the world of weight loss and dieting. Economists from Yale University also commented that it could bring untold possibilities in cost-benefit scenarios for restaurants and other large institutions.

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