Nerd Shows Up to Class On Spree Day

While Clark students took this day to enjoy a well earned blur of degeneracy, camaraderie, and alcohol-soaked fun, it is being reported by news outlets across the globe that one student didn’t get the memo.

According to surveillance footage, undergraduate student Trey Truly (‘19) was seen entering the Jefferson Academic building on Spree Day at around 10:20 a.m. Clark University’s Campus Police were called in about an hour later to remove him. When asked for comment, a spokesman stated that Truly had been charged with the “Being a goddamn nerd” and “Public Sobriety”. He was released from jail later that afternoon.

This update has lead to some startling questions. Could this student have been so dedicated to his studies that he didn’t notice that class was cancelled? In an attempt to uncover more about this strange situation, the Freudian Slip’s Investigative Team tried to get an interview with Truly, but to no avail. He was found on the 5th floor of the Goddard Library, but since the Investigative Team aren’t ass holes they couldn’t speak to him.

The team is now applying for LEEP project funding to help them solve this mystery.

#Local