Obituary: Emily Denny is Dead to Us Because She is Graduating

Well, dedicated readers and people who don’t want to work on their finals, it is the end of the year, and the end of an era. As I sit here, listening to a playlist of depressed British boys sings with their guitars, I can’t help but feel a wave of half real, and half processed sadness wash over me.

Our dear leader must leave, and with her goes much of the humor and grammar that makes the Slip a moderately professional publication that sparks both (I’m assuming boisterous) laughter and (what I know to be derisive) head shaking. Emily Denny has been an influential member on Clark’s campus, through her very serious and heartfelt work at Shenanigans, her humorous roles in Clark University Admissions, and her esteemed title as our Editor in Chief. But all good things must come to a close, like The Office and Harry Potter, and the Bistro at 2am on a Saturday night when you, at 1:58am, are hell-bent on sinking your teeth into an individually packaged egg.

Emily has made a significant impact on our lives, and some of our writers had very poignant words to share—as all writers do, because they like to make words go together quite well in sentences and stuff. These words made me cry heartfelt tears and say, in a shaking voice: “saaame.” I am utterly convinced that they will do the same to you.

From Paul Frissora, our new Editor in Chief: “‘she was cool’ – paul”

From our writer, Emily Buza: “She had a really cool name.”

From our Arts and Culture Editor, Carly Dillis: “A true master of words, an even truer master of satire, and the trueSt master of dank sweaters.”

From Charlotte Fenton, a valued member of our editorial staff: “She’s got ten goddamn fingers.”

And later: “She was such a thoughtful speaker, back in the day, she would look at me mid Freudian slip meetings and open her mouth to speak. And I just, I guess we had this mutual connection, because I just knew she was going to speak. And she did! And words came out of her mouth. And it’s just—it’s moments like that—with Emily that I really will never forget in the coming days.”

From Seth Rosenthal, a writer and neat dude: “She existed. That was pretty cool of her.”

And from Robbie Franklin, our brave SPORTS guy: “According to the doctors, I’ve known Emily since birth. The only details of our friendship I can remember are from the past two years or so thanks to my bowling accident, but even still I’m sad she’s gone.”

Gee, those words were seriously sad. And, they should be: all joking aside, we really will miss Emily Denny in the coming years. The Slip might not make any sense, and it might be the weirdest thing on campus, but it is a thing, and she led it. And now, she will do better and cooler things with her life while we desperately cling to David Angel and bananas.

So, fellow grievers, we must now wipe the salty tears from our eyes, and say: ta ta for now, Emily Denny. Enjoy.

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