Trish Cronin Answers Student Questions About Sports

In a recent interview with the Freudian Slip’s Sports Correspondence Team, Trish Cronin revealed some of the emails that students regularly send her in regards to Clark’s athletics programs. Referring to these questions as her “FAQs”, Cronin graciously shared them and some of her answers with the team. The answers are all given by Trish Cronin, word for word.

Question 1: Does Clark have any Sports teams?

A: Yes, we have many sports teams and they compete in many events.

Question 2: Does vaping count as a water sport?

A: This is a tricky question. Although most people who vape don’t expend too much energy in puffing fat clouds, the shapes that they blow can most certainly be seen as an art form, much like Olympic ribbon twirling, or synchronized swimming. So in the artistic case, I would say it is a sport. Athletically I would lean more to the side of hobby, but it can still leave you out of breath.

Question 3: Do bongs count as water sports?

A: I don’t really understand why I keep getting asked about illegal activities, but just because something involves water or water vapor doesn’t mean that it’s automatically a water sport.

Question 4: Why am I always out of breath after climbing the staircase in Jonas Clark?

A: It could be that you need to do more cardio, or maybe not be a coward.

Question 5: Whenever people throw their Frisbees on the Green I nearly die by getting hit. How can I protect myself?

A: The Green can be very dangerous in the spring, so this is a very understandable concern.

I would recommend visiting the Green in a full suit of armor. This may be uncomfortable on hot days, but unfortunately it is a necessary precaution if you want to avoid certain death by spiraling disks of plastic.

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