“Main Street is Just So Romantic”, Report Two Freshmen Making Out on Sidewalk at 2:00 am

MAIN STREET: In a study published on Saturday, two Freshmen, John Maekootaloot and Jenny Wetlips, reported that Main Street is the most romantic place in Worcester. This study comes after the two were spotted making out on the sidewalk in front of Clark’s front gate on Friday night.

“I’d take this location over Champs-Élysées, Bora Bora, or even Venice. Main Street is just… it just has such a romantic feeling to it,” is what Jenny Wetlips said when reached for comment.

The pair reportedly met at a party on Beaver Street on Friday night, and after the party died down, they took to the streets to let the world know about their drunken affection for one another. Unfazed by the cigarette butts, McDonald’s wrappers, and crackheads, the lovers showed Main Street what true romance looks like. One eyewitness even said that it was like “something out of The Notebook but, like, bad.”

Although the study by Wetlips and Maekootaloot hasn’t been peer-reviewed yet, experts in the field of PDA are predicting that this will be a game-changer. The Freudian Slip’s Science Team reached out to Clark power couple Stephen Goulet and COPS Reruns for their expert opinions on the subject:

“In our experience of making out on couches, benches, the Red Square, and just about any public place imaginable; we think that this study will really help to find the true romance of Worcester. I personally can’t think of any place that is more desirable to make out at than Main Street.”

With this study now published, it will be interesting to see where else people can show their affection for eachother at Clark. Maybe the next major study will be about getting a room.