EDITORIAL: As a Bug, I Could Have Ended Up In Any Meal. Why Did I Have to Wind Up in a Sodexo Meal?

I like to consider myself wise for my ripe age of five days. Hell, I’d even consider myself one of the smarter bugs out there these days, smart enough at least that I could make my dear mother proud of me. When I was a tiny little larvae, she told me, she said:

“Bugsy, my dear. There are bugs who live their lives in obscurity, and there are bugs who metamorphosize into something great. Be one of those bugs, Bugsy. Be like the Charlotte and her web. Be like the main character in A Bug’s Life. Be the fly in a comedian’s soup.”

And those words stuck with me, they did. If I could make my mother proud, my dear mother who came all the way here on the bottom of somebody’s shoe, then I can make myself proud.

So, how did I wind up here?

I could’ve been found in a filet mignon at a Michelin star restaurant. I could’ve floated to the surface in an old lady’s split pea soup! So, why did I have to end up in a four day old salad that was manufactured by Sodexo and sold for 5 dollars at the Clark University Bistro?

It sucks in here! I wouldn’t consider myself a picky eater, I’ve been known to snack on old dust and all, but I don’t even want to eat this! The leaves are dry, the croutons are harder than stone and staler than bread that gets left in a Pharaoh's tomb, and there’s hardly enough dressing for a single leaf. I won’t even eat it! And I regret

everything! Like I said, I could have been found in the most delicious of meals, but instead I had to choose a stale salad. My mother would be ashamed.

Bugsy N. Sect is a best-selling author, journalist, poet, and social commentator who has written dozens of award-winning works, including Lights: Unraveling Our Buggest Killer; Metamorphosis; The Swatter Cometh; and Honey! I Ate the Kids!

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