Clark says "Bomb-voyage" to potentially dangerous party

Over the weekend, University Police shut down Hughes Hall after reports of an “explosive party” happening on the 3rd floor. Witnesses reported hearing “bomb-ass music” such as Taio Cruz’s Dynamite and other explosive jams. British nuclear chemistry student Stan Johnson (‘21) commented on the lockdown while chewing on his self described “fission chips.”

“Yeah, the police totally blew up in my face when I tried to grab my alarm clock from the trash can. I tried to tell them it was, uh, mine, but like, the bomb squad guy had such a short fuse. Really not cool,” Johnson said.

When trying to interview UP directly, police claimed that the situation was “not even remotely funny” and that questions were very insensitive to all involved. Without further statements, Hughes was eventually reopened an hour later after Clark’s anime club members protested saying the lockdown shouldn’t be considered cannon, as the party wasn’t that much of a banger.

#Local #Crime