Somethings not Wright: The Wrong Place to Go?

Due to unsanitary conditions in the bathrooms, first-year students in Wright Hall have finally reached a breaking point. Many students have spoken out, and The Freudian Slip managed to get a few exclusive statements on the dorm’s current state.

Jonathan Stanton (‘21), living on the third floor, had a particularly poignant complaint about the conditions of the stalls: “Well, for the first few weeks it was okay, except on the weekends, where stalls one through three were practically unusable. But in the past week, it’s gotten so bad that I just said fuck it and I’ve been peeing in empty Bistro cups since then.” When asked about the showers, Jonathan was too distraught to comment further.

Another student who asked to remain unnamed was asked about the shower curtains, and had this to say: “The fruits of my labor have finally culminated in a beautiful bounty. The spores that I placed in the showers weeks ago have now taken root. My mold collection is really loving the humidity!” The student seemed very enthused about the current shower conditions and mentioned the possibility of migrating the collection to their room to be closer to their “fungal children.”

Another anonymous source living on the third floor of Wright Hall had a very colorful take on the state of the restrooms:

“Don’t get me started on the bathrooms. The counter-tops are covered in hair, shaving cream and toothpaste 24/7. If I see one more strand of hair in the sinks, I swear to David Angel I’ll burn this building to the ground. The mold on the shower curtains is begging to be fumigated. I have decided to put the word out for a floor-funded bottle of bleach to take steps towards permanently purifying the bathrooms, but I’m afraid it might not be enough...”

Unfortunately, we had to cut this interview short, as the student’s anger got out of hand after they produced a container of Lysol wipes. The Freudian Slip will continue following this story in the coming weeks, and will provide updates as they come. However, for now it looks like the students of Wright Hall will just have to soldier on in the face of this hygiene disaster.

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