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Scary Stories To Tell in the Clark: The Mirror

  • Parker Debaryshe, Joshua Canning, LiLi Bourne
  • Oct 30, 2018
  • 1 min read

Rick is a college student. Rick has no money, so he had to take out loans. Rick now owes money to his school and to the American government. Rick will probably land a shitty job and spend the rest of his days paying off this debt. Rick looks in the mirror, staring at his sad, broke reflection, asking where he had gone wrong. Grabbing at the corner of his face, Rick pulled back his skin to reveal… you. You are Rick. I am Rick. We are all Rick. We are all broke college students, wondering and fearing what the future has in store for us. Will anything we do even matter? Will we be remembered? Will we amount to anything? Past our student debts and insecurities, what are we but hollow shells of man wandering aimlessly until the grave claims us all? Well done, congratulations.

-Happy Halloween from The Freudian Slip

 
 
 

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Hipster Quote of the Week:

" The message at the end of “The Tortoise and the Hare” isn’t that ‘slow and steady wins the race’, but actually a well-remembered quote from the 1977 Disney classic “A New Hope”: “Great kid! Don’t get cocky”. Bullshit that the hare was gonna lose that race if he didn’t choose to stop for a nap and a snack and whatever else he did. Bullshit that the tortoise was going to catch up in any capacity if the hare didn’t slow down for him. Maybe that platitude makes sense, but definitely not in this situation.

 

A race is a sheer contest of speed. No other skills go into that. The tortoise and the hare aren’t making miniature wooden horses and getting judged on the craftsmanship of their products alongside their finish time; they are moving from one point to another. In no universe does slow and steady win that race. Slow and steady wins no races, except for races where the point is to go as slow as possible. Even in cases where slow and steady could be considered a possible alternative to fast, such as the aforementioned miniature-wooden-horse-making competition, someone who can do similar quality work at a much faster pace still wins that competition.

 

Slow and steady does not win the race. Not being too full of yourself does.."

 

~Nick Gilfor

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