Most Woke Activist on Campus Has 37 Stickers on Laptop

Upon arriving at Clark, local student Arianna Johnson is said to have quickly become aware of the popularity of activism across campus. And at the young age of twenty, she decided that she too should have a stake in social justice.

“I guess it all just kind of got to me,” Johnson said in an exclusive interview, “I recently saw this movie, Sorry to Bother You? I don’t know if you’ve heard of it. But anyway, I looked around the theater and I was the only white person in the audience, you know? And it got me thinking—what if I took a stand?”

And what a stand she took! With her laptop clad in stickers promising “Love is Love,” “Nasty Woman,” and “Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History,” this zealous junior assures The Freudian Slip that she is not only making a difference, but also holding those in the Clark community accountable. According to one eyewitness account, Johnson was recently seen passing out “Check Your Privilege” stickers in the middle of a meeting of the Black Student Union, reminding her fellow students that “ageism is prevalent in the workplace.” The BSU members lucky enough to be inspired through these sticky written words were forced to stop their discussion to, thankfully, really think about ageism.

In response to Johnson’s efforts, many students have taken to avoiding the AC, haunted by the reminder of their refusal to “spread hummus not hate.” As an endnote Johnson reminded our staff that, “As Grimes tweeted on my birthday week,” we confirmed, she’s in fact a Pisces, “‘be the change you want to see in the world.’ We need more than one brave individual to really alter this world. This weekend, do something crazy in the face of those good-for-nothing Republicans—put an ‘All Lives Matter’ sticker on your laptop.”

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